Where's the Festival?

Tonight we took Benjamin to the Labor Day festival. He was into watching the people and the music but he looked up and said "Mom, where's the festival?" We had to giggle! Standing there on main street listening to a big band and watching Benjamin dance around to the music was just a small pleasure to enjoy. It's in these moments that we can pause and savor the pure joy of life. Was it a night full of blockbuster entertainment with all the whistles and bells? No! But in the small town celebration we had a great family time. Why do we not have more of these?
Benjamin is growing up and there are times when he says the most profound statements and then there are moments like tonight when Benjamin's balloon untied from his wrist and floated off that we were reminded (thankfully!) that he is still a little boy too. He was heartbroken to watch the white balloon float away and the tears that fell were only dried by receiving yet another balloon! We can't help but look into his big blue eyes and adore him. What a gift he is!

We are still hot on the adoption trail too! Paperwork takes time as we all know but we have about collected all of the items and we will be sending everything in next week! Beyond that we will have a home study and then we wait. Please remember the birth mother and this precious baby when you pray for us. We would love to share, if she doesn't already know, the gift of adoption into God's family through Jesus Christ. We, as Christians, are all adopted! Thank you for your prayers!

A Poem

This poem was sent to me by a dear friend. I thought it truly captures the nature of this journey we are on. Thanks for sending it to me!! I hope that you all will enjoy it as much as I do!
Once there were two women,who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,the other you call Mother.
One became your guiding star,the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life,And the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,the other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent,the other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,the other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide,the other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me through your tears,the age old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of.
Neither my darling, neither, just two different kinds of love.
author unknown

WHEW!

First day of school......new shoes $35, new backpack with a compass on the zipper pull $14, cheese and mayonnaise sandwich (yuck!) $2, watching Benjamin walk into his pre-k class all smiles......PRICELESS!
It was a great beginning to the school year. Thank you God for giving us all the grace to not only "make it through" but to actually enjoy the moment. These moments, in the words of one our favorite Christian artists-Steven Curtis Chapman- are moments "made for worshipping". God is on His throne and He gave us this beautiful gift.
My first days of school were equally exciting and I'm blessed with the opportunity to teach a great group of kids.

Today Nate went to take care of some of the paperwork we are completing for the adoption. He had to visit the courthouse to get copies of our marriage license and birth certificates. Just that much closer to our baby! If you are reading this we ask that you say a prayer for the birthmother-that she will have courage and be blessed with health and peace of mind as she carries our baby. Of course, pray for that little life that God is molding and making into His image. We are so excited ---did I say that already???? to meet this child. Thanks for walking this journey with us!

Paperwork!

We're doing paperwork.......enough said! Everyday we are getting closer to meeting our little one! Thank you for your comments and wonderful words of encouragement. Your prayers and support carry us.
Tomorrow is a big day for our big boy! Benjamin starts preschool tomorrow and he is so excited but a bit anxious. We have been trying to prepare him for this change without making him nervous. Nate and I are excited to see what he says about his first day. Benjamin keeps telling others that he is looking forward to the loft in his classroom and the playground. All the important things about school!

Anticipation

Today was exciting as we shared our news of adoption with our church family. They celebrated and cried happy tears with us and it was such a memorable moment. They are anticipating this new arrival like we are and to be able to have special people around us to share in our excitement is priceless and makes this so much more fun for us. Thank you for sharing in our fun and the blessing of understanding that as Christians we are adopted into God's family. Earthly adoption is a great representation of what Christ has done for us. We know this baby is going to be such a beautiful gift and one that will be loved by so many wonderful people that we call family!

Paper Pregnancy!!

Yesterday was an exciting day for Nate, Benjamin, and me! You may be wondering about the title of this blog so I'll just jump in. We are expecting an adoption!!!! Those of you who know us know that we have struggled with infertility since 2002. After many tests and needle sticks and ultrasounds my doctor had finally determined that I have PCOS. Not knowing anyone else with this condition, I was overwhelmed with the fact that I might not ever be able to conceive a baby. I became depressed but still pushed forward and didn't share what we were dealing with with anyone except close family. It was a very lonely time and Satan whispered the words "failure" in my heart constantly. There were many times that I believed him and bought into his lies. Never once did Nate see me as a failure but I seemed to carry the guilt around everywhere. After time and through the Grace of God, I began to share what we were going through with a few others. Some were helpful and others weren't-saying you've got plenty of time to keep trying. These words of course were not helpful when my doctor was saying if we can't get you to ovulate you can't get pregnant. I was in a deep hole and so frustrated. At my darkest hour after sharing a day with friends who gave birth on February 28, 2003 I was broken. Nate had gone for an overnight prayer time with the men's ministry in our church and as you know when you are alone that is when the depression comes on strong. In tears I called my mom just to hear another voice and we talked about how I felt. She gave me a verse Psalm 113:9 saying that God had given it to her earlier in the week. It was somewhat comforting and I made it through the night. Nate came home the next day and we talked about his time away. He ended up confessing that he shared our situation and requested prayer for me especially. I was a bit embarrassed because it had been such a private thing but what he said next put all of those thoughts aside. He said that our friend and Associate Pastor had given him a verse....Psalm 113:9. God was speaking so clearly and we grasped onto His promise of children. I had hope again. July 8, 2003 we discovered I was pregnant!!! My due date.....March 1, 2004. Almost 1 year from the night we received those verses. Benjamin was born March 12, 2004 and when we look at him we know that he is our promise and miracle and evidence of healing.

We've always wanted a large family but because PCOS has delayed conception, we are "behind" schedule-at least my schedule of things!! Since Benjamin was born we have been trying again to conceive. After 4 years, our doctor says that unless we want to go through In vitro we are probably not going to conceive. My body just doesn't respond to fertility medication and we are not comfortable with the in vitro process. We've always known adoption was in our future, even before we learned I had a problem. We used to say that once we had our biological children we would adopt. Well, after several months of intense prayer we feel that God has called us to adopt NOW! So, we have been researching many agencies-domestic vs. international, Christian vs. secular agencies, in-state vs. out-of-state, and on and on. God directed us to an agency that we feel is the perfect fit for us and we submitted our application. Yesterday we received the confirmation that we have been approved and are on the waiting list. The only thing between us and our baby is the home study now! So, we are pregnant!!! We don't know timeframes but we do know that God has a birthmother out there either pregnant now or about to conceive that will choose us. We already pray for her and this baby and can't wait to hold the miracle God is giving us. This blog will be a place for us to share our journey-hopefully to encourage others and to invite others to celebrate with us. We are excited and God is good!

School's In

Well, it's that time again. It's so hard to believe that I am about to start a brand new school year again. While there have been some changes this year from last year, many things are still the same. I will once again be teaching 5th grade-which I love. I'm thrilled to have a smaller class size-only 15! Benjamin will be at school with me this year. We've had so much fun getting him ready for Preschool. I think it was more fun for me to go buy his school supplies than it was for him, although he was very excited about getting a backpack! I remember those days of getting just the right items. I look at him and can't believe he is old enough to be starting school like this but he is. Nate and I are anticipating a great year for him and are praying for his teacher and his relationships that he forms in his class. Foundations are so important and we want him to have a love for learning.
After a great week at our church's Kids Krusade (VBS with a twist), Benjamin has started asking questions about baptism and is wanting to talk more about Jesus on the cross. He told us that Jesus is in our hearts. He's definitely gaining more understanding and Nate and I can't wait for him to ask Jesus into his heart. He amazed us when he said that if another kid falls on the playground he will stop and pray for them. Children at Breakthrough are getting it! Their faith will far surpass ours!

What is a Blog Anyway....

Hi everyone! I'm on my maiden voyage of blogging! Everyone's doing it so why not me too? I hope this will reconnect us with our friends scattered all over and also give you "Just a glimpse" into our lives. Nate and I lead very busy lives but we love where we live, what we do, and the family God has given us. I am looking forward to sharing with you all the things God has done in our lives and what He continues to do. So welcome along on our journey!