Wish I had something to say but I don't. I know that sounds awfully negative...sorry. This is truly the hardest part. We are simply waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
But while waiting, we are loving each other every day. I believe I am the richest woman in the world. I have an incredible husband and son who light up my world. This makes me rich!
Please don't stop praying this little life into our arms. We want him/her so desperately!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
He Lives!
Yesterday was one of the most beautiful Easters I have ever experienced. It was a special day for us at Breakthrough and we worshipped our Savior! It was truly incredible. While I don't have all the answers I would like to have...like why we are still unable to have another baby and why we still haven't been chosen for adoption I know that I know that God is in control and that Jesus had me on His mind when He died on that cross. It doesn't get any more personal than that! He lives!!!
Benjamin memorized a verse for church yesterday as all the children shared during the service. It was so amazing to see him and hard to believe that he is big enough to share scripture. He continues to amaze us though and now his mind is constantly going and the questions he comes up with often challenge Nate and I when we try to answer them. Wednesday night after church Benjamin was upset. It took awhile for me to get to the real reason he was acting this way. Finally he said he was upset because he didn't have a brother or sister. He said, "Why is it taking so long? We prayed about this..." Well, what could I say? I wonder the same thing everyday. All I could do was sit and hold him while he cried and tell him that all we could do was pray and believe. Tears were slipping out of my eyes and there wasn't much I could do. Being sad and disappointed is real and in that moment I believe God showed me that while I have been trying so hard to keep Benjamin from feeling this way about the adoption taking time, it is the reality. Of course the danger is in sitting there and stewing in all of those emotions....many people do and believe me it is tempting but because I serve a mighty God who has a clear plan and purpose I choose and Nate chooses and we are teaching Benjamin to choose to live expectantly. We ARE going to have our baby. God promised and He cannot lie. We heard clearly that our family WILL increase. I know I am a mommy of many...Benjamin IS a big brother. Satan you are defeated!!!!
So, my friends, please pray fervently for our baby. I told Nate that I want to hold my precious baby and he/she be ours by Mother's Day! Maybe you say wishful thinking...I see it as faith, the evidence of things hoped for. THE CRIB IS READY!
Benjamin memorized a verse for church yesterday as all the children shared during the service. It was so amazing to see him and hard to believe that he is big enough to share scripture. He continues to amaze us though and now his mind is constantly going and the questions he comes up with often challenge Nate and I when we try to answer them. Wednesday night after church Benjamin was upset. It took awhile for me to get to the real reason he was acting this way. Finally he said he was upset because he didn't have a brother or sister. He said, "Why is it taking so long? We prayed about this..." Well, what could I say? I wonder the same thing everyday. All I could do was sit and hold him while he cried and tell him that all we could do was pray and believe. Tears were slipping out of my eyes and there wasn't much I could do. Being sad and disappointed is real and in that moment I believe God showed me that while I have been trying so hard to keep Benjamin from feeling this way about the adoption taking time, it is the reality. Of course the danger is in sitting there and stewing in all of those emotions....many people do and believe me it is tempting but because I serve a mighty God who has a clear plan and purpose I choose and Nate chooses and we are teaching Benjamin to choose to live expectantly. We ARE going to have our baby. God promised and He cannot lie. We heard clearly that our family WILL increase. I know I am a mommy of many...Benjamin IS a big brother. Satan you are defeated!!!!
So, my friends, please pray fervently for our baby. I told Nate that I want to hold my precious baby and he/she be ours by Mother's Day! Maybe you say wishful thinking...I see it as faith, the evidence of things hoped for. THE CRIB IS READY!
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