The Holidays

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It has been a couple of weeks since I blogged and frankly I have just been so busy that I haven't had a moment to collect thoughts to write down. It has been a great Christmas season and I couldn't feel more blessed by family and friends. We had an incredible women's banquet at church where 51 women came together to chat, eat, and enjoy one another's company in the presence of our King. It was alot of fun and a night I will remember for a long time. Benjamin enjoyed all kinds of activities at church and school in preparation for Christmas and we observed advent each night as a family. Slowing down enough to really focus on the true meaning of Christmas was especially important to us this year as Benjamin is really into Santa and the "stuff" he wanted for Christmas. He did get his Hot Wheels Bike from the big guy and already rides it like a champ (with training wheels of course!). He has also had a couple of crashes--I'm trying not to over react when it happens. It is natural of course for him to wreck--it's part of the process. Breathe.
Benjamin is really questioning and exploring his faith. He is thinking about things more and more and I think is starting to gain understanding about why God sent Jesus. He's at the point where he sees others' sin and points out their need for forgiveness. He hasn't quite seen his own flaws but who among us really wants to do that? However, it is exactly where we need to begin.
It definitely challenges me to look at myself. I find that I am more anxious and impatient to see our baby. I had hoped that we would have him/her by Christmas or at least know that we had been selected by an expectant mom. You can imagine the disappointment that I felt when we didn't get that call and even when I called the agency they didn't have any news they could offer. The only thing I know for sure is that they have shown our profile several times. Someone out there is contemplating adoption and has seen our faces and read our letter. The word wait is such a hard one for me. I feel like that has been the message I have received from God for almost 5 years now. We have been trying to get pregnant again since 6 weeks after Benjamin was born. I have come to grips that we will probably not enlarge our family through another pregnancy. That was hard because I so loved being pregnant. I know this adoption is what God intends for us because He planted the desire in our hearts even before I knew we would have trouble conceiving Benjamin. There is peace and excitement but also impatience. Help me Lord.
But in the meantime of waiting for our baby, I am soaking up every second with my family. I love our son and I am so honored that God gave us such a miracle.
Please pray for the birthmother and our baby.
Thanks for reading such a long blog!!