BIG CHANGES

So, maybe you would like to know where in the world I have been....life has been changing so quickly that keeping up with a blog has been impossible.
So, to update you (if anyone is even reading this) in short:

On March 16, 2010 our baby girl entered our world! We were blessed through adoption and not only gained a baby but an incredible woman in our lives.
While in the process of adopting, after trying to conceive for years...we learned of an unexpected pregnancy! So we are expecting to welcome a son by July 12, 2010. WHOA!!
BIG GOD!

GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!

All I can say right now is that God is FAITHFUL!! More to come very soon......

Family

I need to post about my wonderful family...not just Nate and Benjamin but my extended family. They also have been on this journey with us through the ups and downs. They have seen my tears, heard my heart, and have encouraged me along the way. I know they are praying for this baby as much as we are and I cannot tell you how thankful I am for that. I guess I often take that for granted and I shouldn't. So, thank you--you know who you are, for your words of love and compassion, for your sensitivity in tough times and disappointment. You are special and I love you!

No real updates on the adoption front. Things are slow in our agency's office. However, God continues to do His thing! I am constantly amazed how He always picks up my pieces and sets me back on track. Wish I could tell you all that the manifestation of the answer to our prayers is here, but it's not. What I can tell you is that I know when we prayed for the first time over this baby, He answered our prayers. It is in His time.....I trust that. Can't really change my impatience....but I trust His timing!

Please pray with us.....

No News

No news...just wanted to blog briefly. Today we went to The Lost Sea in Tennessee. It was an incredible hike down 550 feet underground. WOW!!!! You have to stand in awe of God and His handiwork when you get to His creation. It was an adventure for Benjamin. Truly amazing. That's Who God is. He is amazing. Thankful for His mercy every day.

Please pray with us for our baby. I believe we will get our answer soon.

better

I'm better.....God does heal broken hearts. I am proof. Don't know what He has in store for us but even through all of this I have peace that He hasn't stopped working on our behalf. Over the past week or so, a song that I love has played over and over in my mind and my heart. Israel Houghton has a song entitled, "I Am Not Forgotten". So true, and I have held onto that truth. We are never forgotten. No matter what we are dealing with. That brings peace that does pass all of my understanding and I look around and find myself not just making it but thriving. God is faithful.

Please don't stop praying for our baby. I know it is soon. I BELIEVE it is soon.

So close....

So, on Monday we got the news that the mom we had been shown to decided to parent. Disappointment. But God restores. By the end of the week I was feeling strong again. Friday, the 3rd, mom, Benjamin, and I were shopping for our 4th celebration at church and I got the strangest call. The agency that we had been in contact with earlier in the week was calling asking if they could show our profile to a mom who had chosen a family but they had backed out of the deal. The mom was in labor as they were calling me and she didn't know that the family had chosen not to take the baby. My heart almost stopped. I couldn't believe that we might actually be getting our baby. So we immediately said yes, had a long conversation about the mom and dad of the baby, then we waited to hear back from the agency. The mom ended up with a c-section and a little boy. He is about a month early so he went straight to the nicu to be checked out. The social worker would be breaking the news to the mom and then showing our profile as well as another family's profile so she could choose. We were told we should hear something the next day. So, on Saturday the 4th after a very restless night we waited AND hosted Be Free at church. Finally word came. In my mind I was already making arrangements to travel, the baby would be ours on Monday according to that state's law, and I was trying all the while not to get my hopes up. However.......the birthmom who wants an open adoption, as do we, wanted the family to still live in her state. We do not. So as the email read, "_______ loves you but chose the family that lives here instead." Disappointment #2. 2 in one week. This news came as the festivities at church were in full swing. I went into autopilot and finished the day. But inside I was heartbroken again. No, neither of these babies were ever really ours but we were told with each one that the birthmom liked us. The agency each time were pretty certain that we would be chosen. But there is that human factor and we just don't know what a person will choose when push comes to shove. We weren't chosen. Today as I write this, I have not really emotionally recovered. We were so close....but not our time. I told Nate today as we drove to church that it is amazing that in one choice our hearts were broken but another family's dreams came true. And I know that when our time comes when our dreams are made reality it will probably break another family's heart to not be chosen. So, once again I am asking you to pray for all of these people we have known about in the past 3 weeks and more than anything please pray for OUR baby and his/her birthmom. I know God has promised and He holds the time in His hands. I can't figure out why this has happened this way. Why we have had 2 disappointments, why both of them happened within days of one another. It is so discouraging. But I have hope.......as Believers in the ONE TRUE GOD, we all have hope......

From Anxious to Disappointed

Just a short post to update......the birthmom decided not to follow through with adoption. She is going to keep her baby. Of course, not the news we wanted. Please continue to pray for her and this baby. According to the agency, she doesn't have any support system nor a good environment in which to raise the baby.
I also ask that while God works on my disappointed heart that you will continue to pray with us for OUR baby. The one God has created just for us to love. I know He has answered our prayers, I am just ready to see it!
Love you all.....